As a kid, I loved Saturdays in Seattle. Those rainy, cold afternoons, I turned on our black and white television to watch the opening of The Wide World of Sports on ABC (here it is for you Millennials and GenZ-ers who have no clue what I am talking about: WILD WORLD OF SPORTS. The opening scene was classic and memorable: as the distinct voice of Jim McKay bellowed, “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat”, a skier biffs a long jump by spinning out of control. This repetitive opening always intrigued me.
In many ways, relationships are a lot like that 30 second introduction to The Wide World of Sports. The thrill and joy of laughter, community, unity, and life compared to the agony of broken trust, disappointment, unmet expectations, and cutting words. One day all is well with those you do life with and the next, it collapses in a heated mess.
As my oldest daughter entered into marriage back in 2013, I wrote down some thoughts that I believed would help build a foundation where more thrills than agonies would define their relationship. Below is what I gave them on their wedding day.
May this be an encouragement to all of you, married or not, to be intentional in creating moments with those significant people in your life.
July 12, 2013
Ty and Mya,One of the greatest memories of our life, as a couple, dates back to November 24, 1984…our wedding day. There was so much that was right and holy that day. It is etched in our memory banks forever. Below is a list that might be helpful along your journey as you go through each and every season. Some we have done well, some we have done poorly, and some we have not done at all! But each is guaranteed to draw you both into a deeper, richer relationship with one another and with the Designer responsible for it all.
Enjoy!
Dad and Mom
1. Don’t stop dating
2. Hold hands (even if they are sweaty)
3. Gaze at the color of your spouse’s eyes often
4. Choose like-minded hobbies
5. Choose your own hobbies
6. Laugh out loud loudly
7. Fight fair (be aware of words “you always”, “you never” …)
8. Cut your own toenails and keep them short
9. “I am sorry” are three powerful words
10. Read together
11. Go for adventures
12. Sit close together when you drive (seat belts can stretch)
13. Periodically ask the question, “Do you find anything in my character unattractive?”
14. Eat together
15. Tell each other your love story over and over – then tell others
16. Leave encouraging notes where and when they least expect it
17. Budget together
18. Lay on your backs and stare at the stars on a moonless night
19. Rank the order each other’s love language (meaningful touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, and quality time) and revisit what they mean to your relationship
20. Take showers together
21. Wrap presents together
22. Learn something new together
23. Stay in bed all day
24. Get to know your neighbors
25. Create traditions
26. Put your feet in the tub together with only candles on
27. Play in the sand
28. Eat breakfast in bed monthly
29. Call your parents for no reason
30. Plant both feet in a solid church and commit to stay
31. Exercise together
32. Practice by getting a dog before kids come along
33. Be loud when you make love for a day will come when you can’t
34. Plan a big trip together every few years
35. Dress up for each other
36. Make movie nights special and creative
37. Write on each other’s back and guess what the other is writing
38. Challenge each other to memorize Scripture together
39. Be comfortable with the words “Please forgive me, I was wrong.”
40. Rub sunscreen on each other even when it is not sunny
41. Limit the house to just one television
42. Call each other daily
43. Go to the grocery store and buy something from each aisle
44. Start a family
45. Pray out loud with and for each other
46. Brush your teeth together at night time (try to go for two minutes and then spit together)
47. Buy something special on each anniversary as a legacy for your children
48. Take lots of pictures
49. Keep a journal
50. Expand your musical interests
51. Get to know an elderly couple
52. Create obstacle courses at rest areas and compete using a stopwatch
53. Play hide and go seek at night with all the lights out
54. Ride a bus
55. Tell each other stories
56. Spread out the pictures and create photo albums together
57. Massage each other with no strings attached
58. Support an orphan and put their picture up on the refrigerator
59. Pretend your home is the Ritz Carlton and live it up
60. Buy TV trays and eat dinner together watching a favorite show
61. After a fight or disagreement, make up fast (that is fun!)
62. Find where the other is ticklish and periodically surprise them
63. When the other is sick, go all out to make them feel important and understood
64. Dress each other
65. Write poetry to each other
66. Sit next to each other while you both get a pedicure
67. Go fly a kite
68. Wrestle
69. Rent a tandem bike
70. Cook together
71. Walk the malls and make up stories of the people you see
72. Wash the inside and outside of the car together with the best of the 70’s playing in the background
73. Battle in a water balloon fight on a hot afternoon
74. Take naps on Sunday afternoons
75. Be outside more than inside
76. Climb a tree
77. Sleep naked until kids come along
78. Keep an element of surprise in the relationship
79. Take dance lessons
80. Continually ask the question, “What is God trying to teach me through this?”
81. Be true-faced
82. Do something scary together
83. Give more than you take
84. Set goals together
85. Invest in things that last for eternity (remember it is all kindling anyway except relationships and God)
86. Forgive and do your best to forget (no one is perfect)
87. Cuddle throughout the night
88. Pack up sandwiches/bottles of water and go find the homeless on the streets
89. Be each other’s slave for the day
90. Take time to examine a part of your spouse’s body (fingers, ears, toes, etc.)
91. Mess around on the beach just once to say you did it
92. Say something positive at least once a day to the other person
93. Find your favorite restaurant and get to know the owners
94. Go un-plugged for a day, a week, a month
95. Run outside when you hear the other drive up and throw yourself at them with passion
96. Buy Christmas presents before December 24th (and if you forget and have to do it on this date, at least throw away the receipt!)
97. Narrate back the hurt you caused the other person so they know you truly understand
98. Revisit agreed upon family norms
99. At social gatherings, keep your eye on the other person to make sure they are doing OK
100. Always remember your wedding day
You must be logged in to post a comment.